Writing fills your cup, and that matters for your family

It’s not selfish to write: a 4-week series for moms with dreams

We hear a lot about how moms need to “take care of themselves,” but only in bite-sized, consumer-friendly ways: get a pedicure, drink more water, take deep breaths while folding the laundry.

But what if what you actually need is time to do something that lights you up?

What if taking care of yourself means making time to write your novel?

There is nothing wrong with bubble baths or hydration—I love both—but what I’ve seen again and again in my own life and in the lives of my clients is that real nourishment comes from doing the thing your soul is tugging at you to do.

And if that thing is writing? Then that’s what matters most.

Moms are taught to sacrifice, endlessly.

To pour and pour and pour without ever asking what we need in return.

But when your cup is empty, no one benefits.

Not your kids. Not your partner. Not you.

Writing isn’t selfish. It’s replenishing. It’s stabilizing. It’s a way of coming back to yourself.

When my day job is chaotic, and my son spends the whole morning crying because I won’t let him play with the lightbulb that’s sitting on the bookshelf (yes, really, he wanted to play with a lightbulb!), I know I always have a space for myself in my writing. My manuscript can be a place of calm when the rest of the world is crazy (though sometimes the manuscript gets a little crazy too—but at least I’m in control of that crazy).

For me, writing, especially regular morning pages, often helps me clear out the mental clutter. It lets me process, reflect, imagine. It’s not always easy or clean, but it fills me in a way nothing else does.

And when I’ve made time to write—even just a few stolen minutes—I return to my family a little softer. A little more present. A little more me.

There is this cultural idea that any time spent away from your children must be earned. That we should only get breaks after we’ve hit some invisible bar of productivity.

But you don’t need to earn your writing time.

You don’t need to earn your aliveness.

You get to write simply because you want to. Because it helps you feel like yourself again. And that version of you? The one who’s grounded and fulfilled? That’s the version your family needs most.

P.S. This isn’t about writing a book “someday.” This is about creating a rhythm that supports you now—so you can live in alignment, feel more like yourself, and start making real progress on your writing goals. Coaching helps you build that structure and momentum without waiting for a perfect moment that may never come. Schedule a consultation call if you’re ready to get started with 1:1 coaching.

Next week, I’ll talk about how your kids are watching—and why they need to see you dream.

Photo by Eugene Golovesov on Unsplash